Viviendo de ilusión
First I want to apologize because this post is in Spanish (eventhough everyone that reads them is english speaker, hehehe), but it just came out that way.
Para aquellos que, como yo, intentan controlar lo incontrolable. Para los que dudan acerca de cada pensamiento, y para los que nos movemos questionando cada paso. Para los que viven en una fantasía buscando encontrar lo imposible, improbable e, incluso, lo objetivamente indeseable. Pues bien, para ellos, una reflexión, ¿merece la pena vivir en la ilusión?. Por supuesto es lógico tener ilusiones e incluso saludable. Sin embargo, hay una fina linea entre estar ilusionado y vivir una ilusión. Muchas veces me encuentro imaginando mi vida, una vida que jamás pordré tener (eso ya lo se). Con eso no quiero decir que no piense que pueda ser feliz, estoy convencida que puedo, el problema es...¿para qué tengo que imaginarme una vida irreal si puedo tener una igual o mejor en la realidad?, ¿qué es lo que produce esas fantasías?, ¿son acaso fruto de la insatisfacción?.
Aunque este párrafo no es nada inteligible, hehehe, supongo que a lo que quiero llegar es...¿por qué no puedo tener siempre los pies en la tierra y no elucubrar sobre el futuro? El futuro ya llegará y puede que, si me quedo en mis fantasías, ni siquiera me de cuenta de que está aquí.
Natalia
Nice Surprise
I wasn´t expecting it when I started using blogger, but it turned out that my lazyness, for once, paid off, hehehe. I got a Gmail account for being an active blogger user!!! Sounds like a deal, right?
I took a look at it and it is really easy to use, very simple layout, just the necessary options and
1 Gb storage space FOR FREE!!. Not that I am actually going to use that much space, but it is nice to know that whenever I go on vacation, by account won´t get blocked in two days because of all those stupid graphic jokes.
Natalia
Why grades ARE important
I have to say, today was a good day. Yes, it was...I got up early enough, I had an interesting class and discussion and I felt happy about it. Sometimes lazyness makes me forget the thrill of learning, the excitement of understanding, the adrenalyne rush of revelation...Maybe because I hadn´t felt it in a long time, that feeling filled me and over-excited me. Sometime soon I need to go back down to earth if I want to get some work done today!!
Anyway, the point of this post is the discussion of why grades are important for some people. I might have been like that before, yes, now I recall, I might have discrimitated people for their grades back in school. Now, I come to realize how dumb of myself that was. When you are sharing a conversation, a look, a hug, his/her grades don´t show up in any way. A person can never be defined by his grades, as personal qualities have nothing to do with knowledgement, but they are all about understanding and caring.
I am amazed, to what point someone will preassure you to tell what is your GPA , your IQ or your jeans size for that matter!!! How is that important? Why does people treat you different when you answer those questions?
It is funny how people say after knowing me "wow, she is smart", why the hell wouldn´t I be? ...I am tired of those "Don´t get me wrong...this is actually a compliment..you don´t look like a smart girl". A COMPLIMENT?! How could that EVER be a compliment? So...what should I wear, or how should I look like to "Look smart"?
To me, all that is ridiculous, yes, that is the word.
Natalia
The Book
Today, I finished one book.
I know how it sounds...of course it is not the first book I ever finished, but my relationship with books is somehow special. I would start three at a time, but only one would caugh my attention to read it consistently every night. And then, I would read that one eagerly and forget about the others, and end up, always, going all crazy about it, and skipping paragraphs to get to its end...ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
This brings back to me the familiar feeling of lack of self-discipline that accompained me all my life. And I never got to scare away (just because I have never accomplished a self-disciplined behaviour).
Now, my last love-hate relationship with a book, ended just two hours ago, at 10:15 pm when I finished reading PREY but Michael Crichton.
He was never one of my favourite authors, I never thought he offered any quality in his writting, and felt he was more of a sensationalist author. I was told this book was alarmist, and sensationalist, basically, garbage for low IQ people out there. After reading it (600 pages in three days, that is how uninteresting it was, hehe), I must say, I am impressed.
My conception of Crichton as a writter didn't change, I honestly don't think his skills are exceptional, but all the research and background he must have acquired to write this book impressed me. How the whole history actually made some sense to me (me being a nanothechnology fan), shocked me. He did build an impossible but realistic story. Something you know is impossible, but make it sound likely.
Of course is sensationalist, but it does make you think about some critical ethical issues that nowadays science must consider seriously asap.
A must read
Natalia
Writting a Blog
Well, I finally got the time, and the motivation to start this blog. You would say an automatic blog like this one, is really easy to write, but let me tell you it isn't.
Of course, that is not because of the amount of work you have to put on it, but because of all the self-questioning that unavoidibly goes with any writting process.
Even a mere shopping list, has that weird effect of questioning all your diet habits, cooking style, housekeeping efficiency (well, I don't really have any of that...lol).
The fact is, that putting your thoughts into words, forces you to reconstruct your day, what you did, what you felt, what you said, and worse, what you kept inside feeding that heavy bag of smail painful little moments that only grows heavier, but that we are reluctant to throw away, thus, lightening our weight in life.
I will start by saying that today, was a disturbing day, all of it, until this very moment. Nothing that I did today, actually fullfilled my expectations. The only purpose of this day, was for me to face all the bad things I did in the past (near and far, both). But, of course, that is nothing new to me. Since I have memory, I have the same question in my mind: Why am I stupid enough to worry about people that try to hurt me?. Why do I give a fuck about what they think of me, if I wouldn't trust their opinion in any other matter, as trivial as it was?. Well, I wish I could say I have an answer. Most of the times I think I do, but the naked truth is that if I had it, I would stop doing it, and see?, I keep wasting my energy in this roaller-coaster of contradictory changing feelings for people that would dump my dead body in a container and run if they ever run over me with their cars. Ok, ok, this might be a little too much, but ...I don't see them doing otherwise either.
With these thoughts I start this blog, hopefully someone will give me a feedback, although life told me, people just don't care enough to sit down and give you feedback, or they are just too superficial to think other's thoughts are any worth to think over.
Natalia
